Naptime activities

The rarely spotted nap with Papa. It’s the SAHM’s idea of a vacation.

Welcome, Stay At Home Moms! Thanks for joining me today. Now that we have advanced from your basic how-to, we’re ready to advance to the next level of Stay At Home Momness. Here are a few of my favorite naptime activities, specially selected for those delightful naps lasting fewer than thirty minutes:

You might be a mom if…

If you have eaten an uninterrupted meal in the last month, it is unlikely but not impossible that you are a mom.

Twelve weeks

I’m awake again. My husband is saying to the squirming baby between us: “come on buddy, you’ve been nursing all morning.” It’s true, I realize, remembering like a forgotten dream the last several hours of half-awake contortions, baby talk, and soggy nipples. My entire body feels sucked dry this morning, like every morning, despite the many quart jars of water I down all day. My son is spitting out the pacifier and breathily mouthing whatever he can put his face on: my cheek, my knuckle, my shoulder, my clothed chest, my hip when I sit up in bed.

When I wake for the fourth or fifth time, my husband is dressed and about to leave for work. He is handsome in a button down shirt, grey hair brushed back from his face. I think: they don’t deserve him. I am greedy, and I want him here with us. Someone has to make money though. Today, I am grateful that it’s not me.

My baby is twelve weeks old today.

I’m a great mom, part 2

Wyatt woke up with a stuffy nose, so I declared a sick day: we’re not going anywhere, we’re not doing anything, and we’re wearing pajamas all day. Well, he’s a baby, so he wears pajamas every day, and I’m a stay at home mom, so frankly it’s a fine line. What sick day really means is we watched an embarrassing number of Veep episodes, and made no-bake cookies. Y’know. To help him feel better.

How to be a Stay At Home Mom in 15 easy steps

How to be a Stay At Home Mom (AKA Mom who “doesn’t work”) to an almost-three-week-old: