Date night prep before baby: spending hours assembling cute outfit, uncomfortable shoes, fancy hairdo, actual makeup, shaving all the usual things and then some.
After baby: “Smell my leg. Do these pants smell like baby poop?”
Date night conversation before baby: work gossip, current music, art, movies, and culture in general because we used to know about things that were going on, hip new restaurants, etc.
After baby: “Can you believe we’re here without him? Don’t you miss him? Look at this picture I took of him earlier.”
Date night ending before baby: drinking a little too much, making out somewhere a little too public, stumbling home a little too late, blah blah blah.
After baby: “My mom just texted: ‘so much for date night.’ Check please!”