Essential mom skills, 9-12 months

You thought that after a year of changing diapers countless times per day, you knew how to do it? Lemme throw you a poop covered curve ball.

It’s been a while, but I’m back with a few more essential mom skills, this time for the 9-12 month set. What’s that you say? My baby is fifteen months old? That sounds fake, but okay.  I started this post months ago. Let’s just take a moment to consider that if this little blog is running 3-6 months behind schedule, what might that suggest about the rest of my life?

Anyway, I woke up today to a fully mobile toddler slamming a bell next to my head repeatedly. I don’t know what time it was, but it was definitely still dark. Let’s just dive in.

Continue reading “Essential mom skills, 9-12 months”

Postpartum essentials

Two or three days after your baby is born, you’re going to wake up in a puddle of milk, with rock hard, uncomfortably swollen, surprisingly massive boobs. The good news is, you’re about to experience the sheer beauty of a milk drunk newborn…

Copy of IMG_0166.JPG
Oh baby.
If you’re female and use the internet, you’ve probably read some of Chrissy Teigen’s hilarious tweets about pregnancy and motherhood, viewed her extra adorable photos, marveled at her postpartum figure (hey! stop comparing yourself to supermodels. just an idea.), and seethed at the backlash to her daring to go out to lunch or for a walk or whatever. Come on. Let a woman live.

She gave birth about a month after I did. I laughed knowingly to myself when she wrote “no one told me i would be coming home in diapers too.” And then I literally almost cried when she followed it with her “push present” to herself, a perineal rinse bottle. Maybe I was just feeling a little emotional, but seriously. Her doctors and friends truly failed her if they didn’t let her know about the peri bottle.

I’m here to be the friend that Chrissy should’ve had. I am not afraid to tell you the gross and uncomfortable stuff. If you would rather not know, stop reading now! Bellies, blood, vaginas, pee, and boobs ahead…

Continue reading “Postpartum essentials”