You might be a crunchy mom if…

…there’s an unmarked jar or dish of mystery substance in every room of your house. They’re all coconut oil.

 

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Are you crunchy enough to be my mom?
  • …there’s an unmarked jar or dish of mystery substance in every room of your house. They’re all coconut oil.

  • …”put a little coconut oil on it” is not just a mantra, it’s a way of life.
  • …your partner has ever accused you of “going Amish.”
  • …you have ever yelled “don’t drink that! it’s my placenta!”
  • …you catch your child’s explosive liquid poop in beautiful woolen garments.
  • …you have ever said “I just feel better about diapering with natural fibers.”
  • …you don’t often use disposable diapers, but when you do they have the appearance and texture of unbleached paper towels. I’m looking at you, Seventh Generation.
  • …you not only use cloth wipes but also make your own wipes solution.
  • …you firmly believe that letting your dog lick your baby’s hands and face is building up baby’s¬†immune system.
  • …you have ever said indignantly “they won’t be having that ___ crap!” (rice cereal, juice, etc.)
  • …you can name more than three natural galactagogues.
  • …you know how to spell galactagogue.
  • …no one (I mean no one) is surprised to see your nipples anymore.
  • …you prepare¬†Mother’s Milk tea not by the cup but by the half gallon, because you’re gonna breastfeed this kid forever.

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